A Running Diary of Obama’s Healthcare Address

One of my favorite online columnists is ESPN’s Bill Simmons.  Even though I care very little for Boston sports, I am consistently sucked in by his columns which are largely composed of shameless Boston sport team eulogies.   Bill dubbed Larry Bird ‘White Jesus’, stylized Patrick Ewing into a complex social theory, and through sheer power of will made me and countless other readers believe that Karate Kid not winning the Oscar in 1984 is the second greatest cover up of all time, topped only by David Stern forcing Michael Jordan to retire in 1994 as part of Michael’s gambling addiction treatment.

One of Bill’s best known column variations is his running diary (example here).  Bill plops down in front of a TV, watches a basketball/football/baseball game and gives his reactions to the proceedings.

Last night I decided to do the same thing but instead of a sports event I was watching Obama’s speech on healthcare via ABC.  Please take the analysis below with a grain of salt as I was trying to both listen to the content of the speech, and to comment on some of the funnier aspects of the proceedings (like all of those fake smiles).

For in-depth, slightly more relevant analysis of the actual issues, please check out Free For All Blog. Duke Professor of public health Donald Taylor serves the analysis up thick, accurate, and with just enough entertaining anecdotes to make it worth your while.

8:00 PM

George Stephanopoulos assures us that this is a big time speech.  He expects the president to talk about the public option.

8:02 PM

Hillary walks in kissing everyone on the right side of the aisle.  Nobody is quite sure how to react to the kissing on camera.  One of the men visibly pulls back . The last woman Hillary tries to kiss gives her an awkward and preemptive tap on the shoulder not letting her get any closer.

As the rest of the president’s cabinet shuffles in I find myself thinking how much they resemble something out of a Sci Fi movie; a cabinet of multi-gender and multi-racial elders lording over some future society where racial, ethnic, and religious differences have been made irrelevant by some sort of otherworldly spiritual connection.     Kudos to Gene Roddenberry!  But what species are the far right Republicans in all this?  Oh, wait, in the future they’re all extinct.

8:05 PM

Why does everyone look so happy – Nanci Pelosi is smiling so hard she looks like Sid from those Ice Age movies.  When I ask my dad why he think everyone is smiling so much, he says its because “they have to be cheerful.  That’s politics.”  I want to reply, “wait. Dad.  If that were true than Americans would constantly elect or threaten to elect people dangerously unfit for the job.”  And then I remember that we almost elected a village chieftain from Alaska to be our Vice President.

Smiling is a nice way of baring ones teeth.   In the context of politics is there anything scarier than a smile?

8:11 PM

It is announced that President Obama is entering the building.  Everyone blocks off his path and stares off towards the door.  Why is it a good idea to shake hands with the President as he is walking in?  The man is about to deliver a forty five minute, emotionally charged speech.  The chances of him remembering whose hand he shook moments before the speech are slim.  I bet you Sarah Palin could get a hug, kiss, and photo in right now

and after the speech when confronted about it by Rahm Emanuel, Obama would react like Andy Samberg at the end of the Boss video – “I don’t remember it.  Nope.  That ain’t me.”

I am pretty sure that  he’s got a funny little smirk on his face because he is about to lay down the law in a tougher way than anybody sees coming.   Oh snaaaaaaaaaaap!!! Man, He just threw down a massively pumped high five/handshake hybrid on Joe Biden.  It’s the same sort of props that UFC fighters give as they are entering the cage – I am more convinced than ever that the President is PUMPED!  He gave Nanci Pelosi a normal handshake- telling.  Nanci probably doesn’t approve of the UFC.

8:16 PM

Announcer: “There have only been 15 times that this kind of speech has occurred since 1952…presidents save them when they have important messages”

Obama is looking around the room, taking in the applause.  This is his moment.  I really wish that President’s could choose his/her (one day ladies!) own entry music.  Today, Obama could have come in with Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”.

8:17 PM

“We are by no means out of the woods…I will not let up until American who don’t have jobs can find them. “

Cameras show John Kerry  mouthing “Yeah, you shouldn’t,” and give us the first glimpse of what will become a theme for the entire night – Democrats expressing relief that Obama is finally jumping on the offensive.

Eminem: ‘Hold your nose cause here goes the cold water/the labels don’t want ‘im no more/he’s cold product/they moved on to the next shmo who floes..

8:18 PM

“I can stand here with confidence and say we have pulled this economy back from the brink.”

Everyone stands up and claps.  Really?  You’re clapping for yourselves?  Not being on the brink is a reason to clap?  No.  When you are on the brink of a cliff you stay quiet and run backwards towards the top.  Once you get to the top then you clap.  Japanese politicians would be quitting right now.

Nancy Pelosi is blinking like once every second and Joe Biden is trying his hardest to keep up.

8:20 PM

“I am not the first president to tackle health reform but I am determined to be the last.”  Whew, I love that statement.  If he pulls this bill through, that quote will be oft-cited in future college essays.  Come to think of it, if he fails that will probably become an even more used quote.  Great quote!

8:21PM

John Dingle stand up!  Please stand up John Dingle!  In 1943 your grandfather introduced the first universal healthcare bill and today, 67 years later, the Dingle name still lives on in Congress. Apparently John Dingle still introduces his grandfather’s original bill every day.

A family of politicians battle for the poor and disenfranchised every day of their careers and America doesn’t fail to elect them for 67 years?  Weird concept.  Really strange.  This guy is really old by the way.

8:22 PM

Obama is talking about a woman in Texas who’s breast tumors doubled in size by the time her insurance company cleared her for surgery.  The reason for the delay – she didn’t declare that she had acne.   He cites several other examples in order to illustrate the futility of the current health system and the embarrassment of being a developed country with 30 million uninsured citizens.

“That is heartbreaking, it is wrong and nobody should be treated that way in the United States of America.”

Everyone applauds the point.

Nancy Pelosi just looked over at the Republicans after Joe Biden expressed surprised at the fact they had stood up as well.  She mouths a clear “ooooooh “ sound, quickly puts her head down to hide the reaction, bites her lip, and then sits down.  Nanci has been staring at the Democrats in the hall the entire time and failed to notice the Republican show of agreement.  What does this tell us?  Nanci really hates Republicans.

8:25 PM

Obama just called the Public Option a radical shift, and says we should build on top of what works, and not build from scratch.  Professor Donald Taylor called this one before the speech at his Free For All Blog.

8:27 PM

FIREWORKS!  BAM! BAM! BAM! “Too many have used this as an opportunity to score short term political points even if it robs the country of our opportunity to solve a long term challenge.  Out of this blizzard of charges and counter charges confusion has risen,” Obama booms out “time for bickering has passed.  Now is the season for action!…Now is the time to deliver on healthcare!”

Camera shows John Boehner, minority leader.  He is just ashen faced (metaphorically speaking).    But, why does his face look like a patent leather purse (literally speaking)?  Seriously, it looks like he got a skin graft from a grapefruit.   John Boehner – it’s appropriate that the head of a joke party should have a last name that is itself a punch line. Boehner.

8:30 PM

Obama ‘s repeat – “nothing in our plan lets us change what you currently have”

Note: do Nanci and Hillary have the same gaudy tailor?  Did they coordinate outfits before the speech.  Did they both agree to wear red?  Did Nanci Pelosi realize that red draws the eye and that if you want to be a neutral part of the background then you probably shouldn’t wear red?

8:32 PM

Obama mentions an insurance marketplace – cool concept.

I hope that we adopt something like this.  It’s a great string budget solution for twenty-something and young entry-level professionals.  Instead of buying big plans with a lot of stuff we don’t immediately need, we could instead pick out parts of various plans and customize a plan for ourselves.  It would be like an insurance buffet.

8:33 PM

“For those who still cant get insurance – we will have tax credits…This change will take 4 years which will give us time to do it right. “

Obama just gives props to McCain for an aspect of the bill that he considers important.  McCain leans over and asks guy next to him“Did you hear that?”  Can we take that to mean that all of the congress people are not listening.  What else is there to listen to right now?

8:35 PM

Shot of Republicans sitting together – looks like an Any Worhol painting, the same person repeatedly drawn except wearing different ties, suits, and hair styles. All of the republicans are white men.  Gener Roddenberry is laughing because none of those guys are in good enough shape to join the soon to be created Federation.

8:36 PM

Obama  on bill’s incompleteness…“ while there remains some significant details to iron out”  The whole place laughs, especially the Republicans.  Obama gives a sordid wink.  Why is he winking?  Is a joke being played on us?  I am confused?  Is the whole country in on this too?  Are we all supposed to know that this whole speech is one giant meta-occurrence, in the sense that nothing is real, and everything that is being said is double speak?  Am or am I not going to be able to afford insurance damn it?  WHY DID YOU HAVE TO WINK!!!!!!!?????????

8:39 PM

Oh oh, Obama just mentioned the “misinformation” being spread by opponents of the bill! BAM!

He just called the claims bogus and irresponsible.!  BAM!

Now he just called the whole mess about dead grandmothers a “lie, plain and simple”  while looking over at the Republicans! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Republicans look pissed and shocked.  Daaaaamn.   In stark contrast, the Democrats are jubilant.  Most of them look like they can’t believe their ears.  It has been a long time since someone has been fighting for them at one of these joint Congress speeches.  A Democrat sitting on the far right of the room clearly says “Its about time he said that!”

Meanwhile Obama is still going….“illegal immigrants is also false!”  ATOMICBOOOOOM!!!!!

That just broke the camel’s back, and somebody just booed the president.  Obama looks very annoyed.  (Turns out that Obama was booed by SC representative Joe Wilson – the NYTimes calls him out here.)

This is turning into high drama.  Obama keeps pushing the theme.  The Republicans can scant believe it.  They are being called out!  “Federal takeover of healthcare system – not true!”

8:42 PM

As the mirth of the Democrats dies down, Obama seemingly starts to hit a more measured note – “Consumers do better when there is choice and competition.  That is how the market works. “  In response to this welcome reprieve to a topic everyone in America can agree on, and relieved to be spared any more presidential punches to the groin, the Republicans stand up to clap with the democrats.

Obama waits quietly – like a lion in the grass, apparently, because, 3.2.1.  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand.

Hadōken !!!!!

“Unfortunately in 34 states 75 percent of the insurance market is controlled by 5 or fewer companies.  In Alabama by just 1 company owns 95 percent.”  Simple a knockout for Obama- the Republicans are squirming right now.

“I have no interest in putting insurance companies out of business…I just want to hold them accountable”

With that last sentence, Obama finished the smack down.  It’s now time for appeasement.

8:44 PM

To my republican friends lets work together”… Republicans stand up and wave bills in a melodramatic show of solidarity.  They would be waving harder if it wasn’t for their bruised dignity.

Almost as if he’d knew the Republicans would do that, Obama refers to the papers as “these are good ideas, but I will not back down [from the better idea]”  Bam! Bam! Bam! Sit down Republicans.

Finally, he starts talking about one of the most interesting aspects of the entire healthcare bill debate – medical malpractice.  For nearly three and a half decades malpractice and rising healthcare costs have been a pet-issue for Republicans, but they have been virtually catatoni in response to Presiden’t Obamas sincere efforts to reform this aspect of our healthcare system.  Professor Donald Taylor has this to say on his Free For All Blog in a post called Prime Time:

The most interesting aspect of all of this to me is how quiet (as a church mouse) the Congressional Republicans are about malpractice reform. This issue has been a 30-40 year obsession for them. The AMA includes ‘medical liability reforms to reduce the cost of defensive medicine’ as one of its principles which you would expect. But, *none* of the elected Congressional Republicans are talking about it at all, and that issue is like mom, apple pie and the flag for them. Any Republican senator willing to support a compromise bill could most likely get quite a lot on this issue…..including any of the 3 members of the gang of 6….there is not one word on malpractice in the finance committee working draft. Sen. Enzi didn’t want to chunk something on that issue in there? This says that the Republican governors will talk up the issue, but they can’t cut a deal. If Rep. Boustany doesn’t talk about malpractice reform tonight in his response and give at least some specifics of what Republicans want on this issue, I will fall out of my chair.

I think this just means the Republicans don’t want a deal and really prefer no bill, and that their best hope of defeating the President is to play defense (not sure if he wants to kill your grandmother can keep working, but who knows) and hope the liberals in the House erupt and blow up the tracks without them having to resort to a filibuster in the Senate.

8:46 PM

“I will no sign it if it adds one dime to the deficit now or in the future”

“The reason I face a trillion dollar deficit is because too many initiatives weren’t paid for in the last administration.…Iraq War…Afghanistan…”

A republican just called Obama a “big douche bag”.  It’s the bald guy, second to the left from Bauner.   He looks like Max Bercovicz in Once Upon a Time in America.  Pure evil.

8:51 PM

President Obama starts wrapping it up

“Finally, many in this chamber have insisted that reforming medical malpractice laws can bring down the laws of healthcare. “ “But I’ve talked to enough doctors to know that defensive medicines is contributing to costs.  I know that the bush administration considered running demonstration projects in states…Im directing my secretary of Health and Human services to move forward on this initiative today”

(Kathleen Sebelius is a really nerdy/jogger kind of hot.   I’ll take that over Alaskan/hunter hot anyday. I am getting tickets to see her speak whenever she is in town. )

“…add it all up and the plan I am proposing will cost 900 billion over 10 years.  Less than Iraq war and less than tax cuts on richest few Americans in the previous administration.  Most of these costs will be paid with money already being spent.”

“…reduce spending by one tenth of one percent will reduce deficit by 4 trillion over the longterm.”

“…I will not waste time with those who think its better politics to kill this plan than to approve it.”

Republicans are still pitifully waving their plans in the air, but this last statement has to have sent a chill down the spine.  What does Obama mean exactly “not waste time.”  Will he finally arrest Karl Rove and Dick Cheney?

“If you misrepresent what’s in this plan, we will call you out.  I will not accept the status quo as a solution.  Everyone in this room knows what will happen if we do nothing.  Our deficit will grow, more families will go bankrupt, more businesses will fail…too many Americans counting on us to succeed, the ones that suffer silently…”

Oh…ok…so by not wasting time you mean to say you’re going to call people out…which is a waste of time….ok, got it.

8:54 PM

Ted Kennedy said this would be the year of health care reform “the great unfinished business of our society” “what we face above all is a moral issue.  What we face our fundamental principles of social justice and the character of our country.”

I thought that mentioning Ted was a risk due to his polarizing effect with people – and women especially – but Obama pulls it off nicely thanks to multiple shots of Ted’s grief stricken family.

9:01 PM

John Kerry is getting bored – his hand is tapping very quickly.  The speech pretty much hit its apex during that 5 minute Republican bashing.  But,  President Obama saves the best for last.

“I understand that the politically safe move would be to kick the can further down the road…but that is not what we came to do…I came here to shape the future…I still believe we can even when its hard.  I still believe, I still believe that we can act when its hard..I still believe that we can do great things and meet the challenges head on.”

Al Pacino could not have done that better.

The end of speech.

9:03 PM

Ted Keeney’s widow Micky is saying that “It was amazing.  It was amazing.”  I’m glad she thought so because that was a huge risk for Obama. Touching moment between a member of America’s original royal family, and America’s new royal lady.

9:04 PM

George Stephanopoulos says it was the most emotional speech he has every seen Obama give.  He was on the edge of anger when addressing his critics (true.  It is the only time he stuttered, and he stuttered twice).  I am no sure whether he changed a lot of Republican minds.

Announcer 2:  I have never heard out someone yell out ‘Lie” at the president.

GS:  It shows a fearlessness of the opposition.  On the other hand I have never heard a president clearly call out lie.

9:06 PM

Republican address –

Charles Boustany, MD, Cardiovascular Surgeon

I won’t even waste my time listening to this guy. (But I will be back to watch that crazy water slip and slide show!)